A little over ten weeks ago, I wrote a blog post about light bulbs. You can read it here. It’s pretty darn good. Today, one of my light bulbs (literally) went out, so I kind of felt like maybe it was a sign that I needed to revisit things.
When I wrote that blog post, I had started down the ADD path of my life and I was scared. The shit had hit the proverbial fan. All I knew was that things had to change.
I was trying to own some things that I hadn’t even begun to wrap my brain around, but as is always the case with me, telling a story is the best way to start.
Since then, I’ve been doing work. A lot of work. And crossing a whole bunch of things of my to-do list. I’m figuring out some new strategies to manage my business, tricking myself into some new tactics for managing my time and even learning how to let myself off the hook every now and then. Oh, and I sleep at night (most nights). That’s new.
Life has gotten better. I still owe the tax man money. Lucy still has the stupid cancer. I still have piles of laundry that need to be done. But, life is better.
Better feels damn great.
I had NO idea how much better my life could be with focus. I mean, whoa. Sometimes I get all emotional just thinking about it (shocking, I know). This feeling of knowing what needs to be done and then actually accomplishing it is something that is so new to me. There’s so much less chaos. I can catch my breath. I’ve tried to find the words and I can’t. It’s really just overwhelming. I had always thought that this is my curse: there are just some things that I suck at, starting with life management. It is true, I suck at math and I suck at badminton and I suck at folding laundry. I suck at balancing my checkbook and I suck at using ladylike language and I suck at surprises. But it turns out that I don’t suck at managing my life.
And knowing that makes all of the difference.
To my family and friends and clients and strangers whose paths I’ve crossed, thank you for making my life so awesome (I’m not talking to you, tax man). Seriously, there is a long way to go. But with a few pharmaceuticals, a good journal and an amazing gang of friends, I will get there. And, yes, I changed the light bulb.
Thank you for always bringing the laughter.