An open letter to bridesmaids and groomsmen:
You’re their best friend. Their brother. Their favorite cousin. A sorority sister. Their college roommate. They chose you to stand next to them on the most important day of their lives.
It’s a big deal.
You’ll spend months celebrating them leading up to their big day. You’ll rent a tux or buy a dress. You’ll shower them with gifts. There will be selfies and Facebook posts at the rehearsal dinner. And then the big day arrives.
It will start early, and it will be a long day. There will be schedules and details and mixed up hotel keys and missing cuff links and Spanx that don’t fit. You will sweat at the front of the church and try not to trip on the way out. You will sit at a head table with everyone staring at you. And you might even have to give a toast. It is a crazy day.
You will also get to have your photos taken. It’s part of the deal.
I think I am a fun photographer. Most of us are. We are committed to doing whatever the bride and groom want to do to have fun. I’ve stood in creeks and on the roof of cars. I’ve gotten in the ocean, climbed on top of a bar and walked out into the middle of traffic. So, I will do my best. But this is not about me.
It’s about the bride and groom. I’m going to do my part. You do yours. Please.
[Please note that the images shared are examples of awesome bridal party portraits that were taken quickly and efficiently.]
Be on time. The timeline isn’t a suggestion. It’s deliberate. The bride and groom have worked hard to come up with a timeline for photography. Please just be where you’re supposed to be there when you’re supposed to be there. Better yet, be 5 minutes early.
It’s not about you. Your makeup and hair are not the most important thing. It doesn’t matter how hot or cold you are (you knew when you agreed to do it that it was probably going to be cold in January). Their feet hurt, too. Don’t get sunburned the morning of the wedding playing golf. If you have tan lines, make arrangements to get a spray tan (just not the night before). You’re their attendants. Attend to them.
Don’t get hammered before you get to the party. Don’t start drinking before the ceremony. A mimosa? Sure. But then cool it. You don’t need to do shots on the party bus. Period. How about a beer or some champagne? No, you don’t need to stop at the liquor store while we are doing photos. There will be a bar there. You will have VIP access, and I promise they won’t run out of liquor. And, after you get to the party and have had a few cocktails, leave your clothes on. No one speaks nicely about the groomsman dancing in just his pants and suspenders.
Be prepared. Don’t forget about your cuff links or socks or earrings or strapless bra. Bring your flowers when you get off the bus—every time. Don’t wander off. Stop putting your phone in your cleavage. In fact, leave the phone altogether. I’ve got this. If you want an iPhone pic, and IF WE HAVE TIME, I will take it and text it to you. See? I’m fun like that.
And finally, give the photographer a break. Please. Would you tell the DJ to stop playing music? Or, would you tell the driver not to drive all the way to the venue? No. You wouldn’t. So, please don’t keep telling the photographer how annoyed you are with all of the photos. It’s our job. The bride and groom have paid a lot of money for photos. We’ve met and emailed and collaborated to come up with a fairly specific list. These are the photos that they want.
Now, let’s do this.
Molly Connor | molly connor photography
Thank you to the following photographers (wedding and otherwise) for their input: Stacy Able, Anya Albonetti, Cambrie Anderson, Ashley Cox, Katie Destry, Keri Malinowski, Giovanna Mandel and Janet McKnight.